Happy New Year

As we start to enter a brand new year I wanted to say a few words of wisdom and encouragement, as much for my few readers as for myself. I need to remember these things as much as anyone these days.

Remember the bad, but don't harp on it or let it bring you down. I know this seems like an odd thing and against what most people say (i.e. Forget the bad, remember the good), but hard times and bad times are what brings growth in our lives. We need adversity in order to overcome it.

Remember the good times, but don't always yearn for their return. We cant go backwards and spending too much time harping on how things used to be will only serve to drive us crazy and miss the new potential good times.

Help each other. We have all been in a place where we needed help, whether we asked for it or not. Usually the people who will refuse to ask for help, need it the most. Be observant and help when you can within your means.

Don't forget about you! It is impossible to take care of each other when our own needs aren't met. We all need time to recharge our batteries. Get a massage, go out to dinner, go shopping, go out with friends, whatever makes you feel like YOU again.

Don't stay mad. This is a hard one for me. When my feelings get hurt I tend to hold a grudge. I don't want to let go of it. But anger hurts us more than it does the person we are angry at.

Let love decide what you say. Do not speak out of anger or hurt. Words can be hurtful and while the scars they leave my be invisible, they hurt just as much. Its better to walk away from a fight than to say something you will later regret.

(This one is for my amazing hubby) Any good day is a day that you learn something and accomplish something. Strive to see every day what you have learned and accomplish. This sometimes means celebrating small accomplishments but thats ok!! Sometimes we need to be reminded that small hills are still hills.

I hope everyone has an amazing New Year. Every day is a new beginning. The first step is always the hardest, but once you get moving, no one can stop you! :)

adventures, family, and knowing your limits...

This past week has been quite an adventure. I decided to leave early for our annual Thanksgiving with my parents so that my mom and I could spend some time together. I drove down to my parents and picked up my mom. Then we went for a little trip to Weatherford, TX to spend a little mini vaca away from responsibilities. Doesn't sound very grown up but it was AWESOME!!! We spent three days just relaxing and playing computer games, watching TV and reading. I kept thinking this is what heaven must be like.

But that was just the beginning. while we were there I remembered one of my best friends from high school lived in Ft Worth now and so I shot her an email and we agreed to meet up for lunch the day that we were heading out. It was amazing. After WAY too many years to admit, it was like no time had passed. That's when I remembered, oh yeah... she was a military brat. I have found that Military friendships have been the strongest for me. Because you get so used to moving and people in and out, that you make these tight, flexible bonds that can last a lifetime. These are the people you can call at 3 am when your world is falling apart and they are so glad you called, and would be mad at you if you didn't. These are the people who don't get upset when they don't hear from you, but are so excited when they do. They realize that true friends don't have to talk everyday, every week, every month or even for years. They realize true friends never hang up, they just stay on hold for long periods of time. I felt like a kid again (but in the good ways not the bad lol). I truly cherish my friendship with her and I hope she is always a part of my life (and maybe one day we live closer to each other!!)

I spent a lot of the time we were at the hotel and I was vegging out, thinking about the things going on in my life right now. I thought about the trials and the tribulations, the joys and the celebrations. I realize I am more blessed than I usually think, because all of those trials have had silver linings. If you know me, you know, I am not the type of person to always be able to see the bright side. Hell half the time I cant see the forest for the trees. However, the escape from current stressors let me take in all I have to be grateful for and celebrate this Thanksgiving. I am truly blessed. I think that's what happens when you get too overwhelmed. You become so nearsighted you fail to see the bigger picture and all that is real and good in your life. I will always cherish what I learned this past week.

I also learned I need to set boundaries. I need to set them for myself and for everyone else in my life. I need to be able to say "no." That has never been easy for me. I am a people pleaser and there are VERY few things in life that bring me more joy than giving and helping others. However, this often leaves me feeling drained, and well, overwhelmed. I often forget that I need to take time out and take care of me. My husband does a stellar job spoiling and taking care of me. But there are some things he cant do, only I can. So its time I start doing for me as much as I do for others. Its time I learn how to say "no." I know, sad that it took me 31 years to get here, but better late than never.

Lesson of the week: Yes Thanksgiving is approaching fast, and hopefully we all take time out of our busy lives to be Thankful for all we have and cherish the ones dear to us. But also remember during this time to take a step back and take care of ourselves. When we don't, we have less to give to others. We cant give our all when we have nothing left to give. =) Try to think of something to be thankful for everyday, not just one day a year. =)

TTFN

Two posts in one night... I am gonna drive everyone as crazy as me!

Recently I started doubting my desire to have children. I read an article by the now infamous bloggess that she had posted for her parenting column on one site. After reading her musings about the controversial subject I went down to the INSANE amount of comments. It was then when I realized that my decision to have children was going to be a daily battle. It seems that EVERYTHING surrounding children, from where you have them, when you have them, how you have them, to what you feed them, how you dress them, vaccinations, medical care in general, to where you live, what you drive, what you say... is a constant debate. Everyone knows how to raise your children better than you. I started dreading the day I found out I was pregnant and having to tell people and listen to them tell me things like "you are a horrible mother if you don't breast feed, your child will grow up to be a serial killer", "If you vaccinate your children you are trying to kill them", "circumcising your child will make him sterile, have E.D. and hate you, its HIS choice not yours", "having your child in a birthing center is the only way, if you have your child in a hospital they will kill your baby." OMG PEOPLE!!! Seriously. You need to get a life. Worry about your own kids! Stop telling everyone else how to raise theirs! I mean come on. If I lose a friend because I choose to not breast feed for my own mental health issues.... guess what? they were never really a friend to begin with! If decide to vaccinate my child against some of the worst diseases known to mankind that are still a threat... its MY CHOICE. What really aggravated me was the people screaming about kids choices. I noticed that most of these people had lovingly named their kids things like Thor, Starshine, Apple, - (pronounced DASH). If you believe in your kids choices so strongly, stop naming them ridiculous names and call them boy or girl until they are adults and then pay for them to pick their own name. Because after all.... ITS THEIR CHOICE!

After my initial fury and frustration about all this died down I realized you know what... FUCK them. We will raise Our kids the way We see fit. We will make the choices We believe are best for the child and if anyone has a problem with it they can sit on it and rotate. I have no desire to be in this "war" that people are creating about raising children. I have dealt with enough war being an army wife. We are going to raise our kid with good values and strong sense of self. And WE will choose what is best for OUR family. I am not going to let these selfish bitches with too much time on their hands rob me of what I have always wanted! Everyone has always told me I would be a good mom. I truly believe I will be one day (hopefully! still hasn't happened yet but we will see). However, I doubt that our child is ever going to be the most popular. Because I refuse to raise them with the belief that they have to look out for number one first. That even if it means stepping on someone else they have to get ahead. I refuse to let them think that the only way to get what you want in life is use people, bully people, and be underhanded. Life is going to be hard for our children. I don't doubt that. Especially with the fact that my husband and I value time together more than we value money. We don't need a huge mansion or tropical vacations every year. We don't need the latest gadgets (although occasionally we want them!). We need each other. We need the love and strength that we get from sharing our lives and being together.

I think that's a huge issue facing the world today. Everyone is so busy chasing the elusive dollar, putting off relationships for "later" that they lose those relationships. What happened to being happy together? To spending time talking and playing and sharing? What happened to the idea that children are a product of the marriage and just because you have children does not mean you stop working on the marriage? In my view my kids will be so much to me. However I have waited for 31 years to start trying for kids because I wanted to be with a man that wasn't going to push me aside and that I wasn't going to push aside for children. We will still have date night (yes that means our child will be with a babysitter GOD FORBID!!! I know its a horrible thing!!) We will still celebrate OUR relationship that is separate from our children.

I know some of you out there believe I have no idea what it will be like to be a mother and that my children will consume my life. But I believe that we make a decision to let that happen. I believe my husband and I can have children without sacrificing our strong, happy marriage. I guess we will see wont we...

I'm Tired....

I'm tired. The type of tired that going to bed doesnt help. The type of tired that when I lay down all I want to do is get back up and work on the house, or finish my to do list. The type of tired that when I have time to do stuff, I dont have the energy. Living this new life is harder than I ever imagined and I have never felt so alone. I work so hard on trying to find the positive and sometimes it feels like its not there.

I wish that I could be the happy cheerful glass half full person that I feel like I am supposed to be. But right now that person keeps eluding me. I wonder what is so wrong with me that I cant seem to make and keep friends. What do I do so wrong? Is it that I am too friendly? Is it that I like doing things and being there for my friends? Is it that my life is just too complicated and people dont know what to say? I miss having girl friends. I miss being able to go out to lunch or dinner. I miss having a shoulder to cry on. I miss being able to share good news and laugh. I miss leaning on each other.

Where is the reset button? (warning contains some adult language)

So today I was supposed to be going to my first appointment with Jammy. Its not his first appointment on base but it is his first appointment that I was going to. I knew I was allowed to go to his appointments but I didnt know (until this last week) that I was SUPPOSED to be going to them. I have since learned the hard way that my amazing wonderful hubby that takes such good care of me and everyone else needs and advocate and thats where I step in! (here is where I would insert a picture of me standing with my hands on my hips wearing a cape and a shirt that said "super luci", well it would be if I had any of those things, but I dont, except for hips and hands, I have those!)

The morning started off good. I woke up with the first alarm (didnt even hit snooze! GO ME) got up and picked out my clothes and got dressed. Was ready before he was even! I was so proud. We left the house at 5 and stopped for coffee and had a little while to talk after we got to base before he left for PT. I saw he was hurting this morning but I was so hopeful that after the appointment with the doctor he would have a brand new profile that would keep him from continually having to hurt himself because of "procedure." So I happily played my game on my phone and waited for my husband to return and the sun to come up!

After PT we decided to go grab breakfast even though neither one of us was hungry and (despite the high levels of caffeine and that I had taken my meds this morning) I was getting a little tired. I am not used to 4 am mornings and thoroughly believe they should be illegal lol :p. We grab some food, go back to base, Jammy goes and changes out of his PTs and we head happily to the hospital for his appointment. I felt strange when we got there because I was the only spouse in the waiting room and I could see that Jammy was nervous so I stayed pretty quiet. When they called him back I knew something was going to go terribly wrong this day, however I didnt know it would be the whole fucking day. They call him back and the nurse very rudely tells me "You can NOT go back with him. I have to triage him ALONE. They will come back for you later!" I tried to smile as sweetly as I could and said as nicely as I could muster "Ok! No problem! I understand!" and proceeded to sit back down and wait. After 20 mins had past I started getting antsy. After 40 mins had passed the antsiness went away and was replaced by annoyed. Then at the hour mark, annoyed gave way to thoroughly pissed off. Thats about the time Jammy came out. He was pissed as well. I could see it on his face before I could even get to him. The first thing he said was "I kept telling her you were out here, she said that they were too far behind to let you come back." I looked at the COMPLETELY EMPTY waiting room and said..."Oh yeah, they are SWAMPED."

After that things just went down hill. The people we had to go see after that were either out or busy. The Nurse Case manager couldnt fit us in, which means that he couldnt get the appointment for his MRI or his appointment to go back to see the doctor. At the end of the day I was livid and so was Jammy. I decided something had to be done so I decided while he went to last formation I was going to go see his Ombudsman. This is supposed to be the "impartial advocate." I waited outside his office until the person before me left and then knocked and introduced myself. I proceeded to tell him my issues and why I was pissed. My husband is in pain, constantly. However the doctor will not put him on a profile that says he can take it a little easier at PT. Not for at least two days. The doctor would not let me come back today, when I was told I could come to all appointments. He stopped me there and told me that we had to request SPECIAL appointments for FAMILY to accompany him. They only schedule our soldiers for 20 minute appointments so (and I quote) "the doctors dont have time to answer questions and deal with issues that the family might have." I lost it. I told him that 20 minutes obviously wasnt enough time for him to address the issues HE has so something is obviously wrong. He said he would call the Nurse Case Manager and tell her to set up Family Appointments from now on. I didnt ask him but I am pretty sure this means another months wait before he can see his doctor. Yes you heard me right IT TOOK A MONTH FOR A WOUNDED WARRIOR TO SEE HIS DOCTOR. They couldnt fit him in before that. Anyone else see something wrong with this?

So after I left the Ombudsman's office I felt a little better about the situation (stress the little). I am hoping we can figure out what is really wrong with my husband and find a way to get him back into the job he loves so dearly. I just want to see him happy again. Just for a day. This constant state of pain and frustration is so hard on me. Especially since I cant do anything for him to help.

Couldnt sleep...

I guess this has been a long time coming. Almost 5 months coming actually. I knew that sooner or later I would have to face all of this but honestly I thought if I just kept "soldiering on" I could deal with it later. My husband was injured in combat. He had to jump off a small ledge during a firefight and hurt his back and his shoulder. No one took him seriously, no one. My husband the one who NEVER complains about pain, refuses profiles, and looks at "recovery times" as an outright challenge, was not taken seriously when he was in severe pain. That is until he started losing use of his hand. And then things got all crazy. Four months after he got hurt. The army decided to send him home. He had been deployed for over 7 months. We had not even had mid tour leave yet.

The first time I saw my husband in 7 months, I started crying. I promised myself I wouldn't, but it happened all the same. Then even my tears were cut short by the announcement over the loud speaker requesting Sgt Randell return to the ticket counter. We were met by someone from the WTU unit here that was sent to take my husband back to base with him. I flat out told that man he could go to hell because I hadn't seen my husband in 7 months I would take him to base if that's where he had to go. He was NOT taking him away from me. I should have known then how horrible life in WTU would be. They have broken every promise. Told him outright they wont give him his mid tour leave WHICH HE EARNED!  And now they are trying to force him to have a surgery he doesn't even need.

I am at my wits end. But I have held on to the one fact that my husband cant stand. He is home, in one piece and this could have been MUCH worse. Before you think badly of him, you need to know this. My husband was born to be a soldier. He was born to be a leader and he was born to do this job. He is awesome at his job. He will fight for his soldiers just as hard as he fights with them. He wants to see all of his "kids" exceed him. He wants to see them thrive. And now for the first time in his life, he has to put himself first and he cant stand it. He cant stand that he has been getting feeling back in his hand since he returned home. He cant stand that he had to leave his "kids" for this. He cant stand being told that he has to stick around base all day when he has no appointments and nothing to do but he has to be at 1530 formation so he cant leave (or he could and waste half a tank of gas coming home and then going back, yeah like we can afford that). I love my husband, even his dedication to the military, whom I so fondly call his wife. I love his heart and his strength. Seeing him helpless and feeling helpless to make it better is about to make me break. I want to be strong for him, but for the first time ever, I am wondering if I can. I miss  my husband. I want to spend time with him. I want to hold him and kiss him and talk to him without him being angry. I want to have one perfect day. A day where we don't worry about bills or the stupid WTU. ONE DAY.

It seems like all I can do is stand back and watch him war with himself. He tells me that there is no place he would rather be than with me. But I know better. I know he would rather be with his guys. I don't know if he believes me when I tell him I never wanted this to happen. I would have given anything to have him come home on time, if that would have meant that he came home not hurt. I never wanted him home early in this way. I know now I need a better support system here but at this point I don't know if I can find it. I hope I can.

PS~ I am really getting tired of other military wives being upset at me. Yes my husbands body is home, but not my husband. I am very blessed that I get to sleep with him at night, when he can sleep, or when I can. I am grateful for having him here to talk to and share things with. But I would have given all that up in a HEARTBEAT to have him home in December safe and sound. Please ladies, don't be jealous cause I got him home early, I didn't. I don't think he will truly be home until December. 

ITS DONE!!!!

Ok world... Its done... finished... organized and all! we worked on this a little here and there and then made a HUGE effort this weekend. Now with only a few boxes to throw away, I can show you the finished product!

Work bench area and bookshelves

Desk and storage

the whole thing! :) I am feeling crafty!! 

New Craft Area!!

Ok so now that my amazing hubby is home we are starting to set up our new craft area! I am so excited about this! It is going to be so organized and useful to both me in my insane amount of craft work and him in his leather work! We have cleared out the area where the new workbench is going to go and we are starting to set up the other things. Its a work in progress but I figured I would post the before pics and soon I will update it or put a new post with the finished project! :)

The Before picture all sorts of craziness I know... 

So you see there is a bit of everything that was over there, bed rails, desks, drawers, some of our craft stuff, a table that we never use for anything but always manages to collect items, just a whole mess. Soon it will be our own little craft heaven where we can easily find what we are looking for and have plenty of space to stamp, tool, heat, cut, and craft to our little hearts content!

Randomness

So out on Dixie highway there is a guy that holds a sign up all day that says "why would you want to go to hell? IT'S HOT" on one side and on the other it says "Heaven or Hell Your Choice". I have tried to get a picture but they never come out well. Hopefully I can add a picture later. I have this horrific urge to make my own sign and sit by him. Here are some of my favorites

Why would you want to live in Kentucky? It's Hot as HELL

Proof that Kentucky is Hell

Hell.... not as hot as Kentucky, thinking of vacationing there this year

Obviously we all chose Hell and Kentucky has been annexed.

Those are the ones I can think of right now. I am sure I will add more later. 

Crafts, organization and the the ADHD monster!

Hello friends! I have so many things I would love to write about, that I have a hard time choosing! But today I decided I wanted to talk about three things that are related and take up a good part of my life. If you know me, you know I love to do crafts. All kinds of crafts, however my favorite is making jewelry. I love all the variety of things I can use. I love the variety of styles. I love being in control! lol However, occasionally my crafts decide to try to overthrow my life. Currently I have a storage drawer cabinet with 5 drawers that is overflowing everywhere with my most recent obsession (metal stamping and multi media jewelry). The drawers are full, and somewhat organized consider I decide to reorganize them different ways every other day lol. I just bought a larger drawer storage system to help combat the overflow and a desk that will hopefully be sturdy enough for my stamping! You gotta hit those suckers hard and if you don't have a sturdy table to work on, you aren't going to get a clean print!

Now that I have given a background, let me bring in my good friend ADHD. lol I have adhd. It has made several areas of my life difficult, but the worst are the ones that seem to be so simple for everyone else. I have trouble cleaning and organizing. And I will tell you right now, the next person who says to me "but its so easy you just do it" is getting punched in the nose! lol I have made a lot of progress on my current treatment (and even more so since a friend has started helping me) but I am still embarrassed when someone "drops by" or I have to let someone see my house. I know its a process and its going to take time. It took 31 years to get to this point, its not going to get fixed overnight! But part of me still wants the magic wand to wave and fix it.

Now that being said, I am not completely disorganized. I seem to only have two settings; completely disorganized, ignore it and not pay any attention to it, OR Obsessively overly neurotically organized. Neither is good! lol I can come up with a million ways to organize my craft stuff, get it organized and all put away, and by the time I am in bed I have thought of a brand new, 20,000 times better way of organizing it and end up having to start all over! *sigh* Sometimes it seems to be a never ending process.

I am dedicated to getting my house, and my life under control. I know that its going to take time, and patience, understanding and concentration. None of which I am too good at, but I am learning. I refuse to let ADHD rule my life. I refuse to let it win. Occasionally it may distract me for a while, but I refuse to let it take over. I am stronger than my disease, disability, whatever you want to call it. While sometimes I will give in to the urges to be distracted, I will start conversations in the middle, I will make no sense and my stories will be way too long, but in the end, I will go back to what I was doing, finish my task at hand and be productive!

ADHD is now considered to be such a bad thing and such a disability. However, there was a time in humanities past, where we were the people everyone wanted around. We come up with amazing plans, we think of every scenario, we have heightened senses. But now that we live in a world where everything is done for us, everything is instantaneous, our "gifts" are considered curses and we are treated. Oh how the times change. At least we know that we will be the ones everyone will be searching out in case of an apocalypse lol

Life

There are so many things I dont miss about being a kid. I dont miss the teasing, I dont miss the bullying, I dont miss the drama. But there are a few things I do miss about being a kid. I miss having a best friend, someone who you were usually attached to the hip to and could tell anything to. Someone you could laugh with and cry with. Someone who, if someone dared hurt them, you would have gladly gotten in trouble for kicking the cause of their pain in the crotch. lol. There is a closeness in friendships that you never quite get when you are older. Once you have been hurt too many times, removed too many knives from your back, and hurled too many of your own knives. I miss sleepovers and staying up all night giggling. I miss birthday parties being a big deal. I miss the excitement of Christmas time and Christmas morning. I miss being silly.

As we grow up we learn that people talk about us behind our back, and we talk about others behind theirs. We learn that sometimes people keep us around just to use us. That they only want us there for when they are having an issue and never have time for you or your issues. We learn that most of the time people will think of themselves first before helping someone else. They can always dismiss their cruelty and lack of sympathy. We learn to be mistrustful and to hide things. We learn to hide behind a smile and keep people at arms length. And we learn that people will rarely put themselves out. If your crisis isnt on their schedule, you are SOL.

Why?? When did we become so disassociated? When did self preservation trump empathy? When did we have to accept that if WE didn't lookout for OURSELVES no one else would? What happened to compassion and heart? What happened to wanting to support and help others? It breaks my heart when I think about what this world has come to. Lying and deceit does not have to be our first course of action. It doesn't even have to be a choice. We can be honest. We can support each other. We can take ten minutes to listen to a friend in need. We can believe that only by helping each other can we truly help ourselves.  And if we really dont want to do something with a friend, we can tell them honestly and NICELY instead of promising to go and then something always "coming up." I know these ideas are really radical and hard to embrace, but I truly believe that if we did, we would all be so much happier.

Please dont misunderstand me. I have a best friend now, that I can tell anything to, and I am lucky enough to be able to call him my husband. He is always there for me, even from half a world away. I can always tell him anything and I always know he has my back. When he is home we are attached at the hip. I love that we can be silly with each other. But there is something to be said for friends that are not your significant other. Sometimes you need support from outside the situation. I am so lucky to have him. He makes everything so much better! I really don't know how I got so lucky. I mean finding someone who believes the same things you do, when your beliefs are as radical as mine, is a rare occurrence these days! lol. Anyway I just wanted to put this out in the universe. :)

Technology

Ok so for those of you that know me, you know I LOVE my phone. I love that technology has progressed to the point that no matter where I am or what I am doing, I can answer a call or get an instant message from my amazing husband. However, it has not progressed to the point that I can ONLY get calls or messages from him short of getting a special phone just for him lol. I cant stand that idea! One phone is hard enough to keep up with, two would drive me crazy! There are days and times that all I want is to have some peace and quiet, to have some time to myself, and people don't see my away message on my IM or they are having an "emergency" (read: omg the world is ending right now... oh wait... no, my bad) and have to talk to me IMMEDIATELY. Sometimes I just want quiet. Is that so bad? Is it wrong to want to be left alone for a little while? I miss the days where going to the movies meant you were alone on a date. Now, well because of my hubby's wonderful job, we go to a movie and if his phone goes off he has to go out and take the call. He has missed a good portion of several movies because of that. He has to keep his phone on. He had to keep it on when we were on our honeymoon. (Further proof that he is married to the army and I am just the mistress lol) I never truly feel like I am alone with him, because if they call, he has to answer, and if they say "you have to come in" he has to leave. No matter the time or what we are doing. I miss my angel so much. This deployment has been rough. But as with everything we are getting through it together. When I am weak, he is strong, and when he is weak, I am strong. Luckily when we are both weak, we both become strong for each other and we lean on each other until we can stand again. He is the most amazing man I have ever met and I love him dearly. =) I cant wait til he is back in my arms!

My Fireworks Rant

Ok So I write a rant about the wonderful people around here that shoot off fireworks. I sent it to project rant but they didnt post it so I guess its not up to their "standards" lol even though they say on their page they try to post the texts of every rant submitted. Oh well. Here for your viewing pleasure.

Dear Fireworks Enthusiast,

I realize and accept that I have to deal with your little obsession with legally blowing shit up on every national holiday, whether it is a major one or an obscure one no one celebrates or even hears of. However, if you could keep your excitement and jubilation down to a day or two around the aforementioned holidays it would be greatly appreciated. I know that it’s very hard for you to express anything without loud popping explosions and horrific sulfur smells. It’s very hard for your small brain to wrap around the absurd idea that someone would ever not appreciate the awesomeness of your pyrotechnics. But it’s true. I tolerate your enthusiasm as I do any other annoyance that is legal. But that being said, having a dog who is terrified of loud noises, and a husband with PTSD from serving in our Military for 12 years and enduring multiple deployments, makes enjoying your little festivities a wee bit difficult. Today is the 25^th of June. Even though they are already selling fireworks does NOT mean you need to be setting them off from an hour before sunset until 5 am when you pass out from your alcohol induced coma. I hope you burn down your house with those horrific things. Then maybe my dog would be able to go outside and do her business without stopping halfway through and bolting for the door, and my husband could sleep peacefully without halfway waking up, not knowing where he is, and trying to find his M-4. Thank you for being so considerate as to blow this request off before you get two lines in. Oh and you are welcome by the way! My husband has made numerous sacrifices to ensure your right to annoy the shit out of others!

Sincerely

Pissed off neighbor

Some days are better than others

I have ADHD. One of the major problems I have been learning to deal with is cleaning and organization. I either get overwhelmed and procrastinate, or I over complicate it. Before I was on medication I could never get started by myself. I always had to have someone help me. I also struggled with getting rid of things. I always thought i needed to "save" them and make them feel wanted. Now I am more than happy to give or throw things away. I still struggle to get started sometimes and make organization harder than it has to be, but hey I am a work in progress! This week, I went through all my clothes. I folded up my winter clothes to store ( a little late I know but better late than never!), and I got over six garbage bags full of clothes that no longer fit or I no longer wear to give away to charity. I feel pretty good about that. :) Its the little things! Soon my hubby will be coming home on leave, and I want him to be overwhelmed (in a good way) about how much I have accomplished while he was gone, so reluctantly, I have asked for help. I have a friend who loves cleaning and organizing and is supposed to start helping me this weekend/next week. Hopefully between the two of us we can get the house spotless and she can help teach me how to keep it that way! :)